Drinking frog frappe in downtown Lima

A rather toad-like Peruvian man displays his somewhat undersized aquatic scrotum for the camera before plunging them into a blender

I'm in Lima, Peru where in a couple of hours I'm meant to be catching a plane to Bogota. But instead of heading for the airport, I'm speeding recklessly in the opposite direction on a wild frog chase. Lima's traffic is notoriously bad and I really shouldn't be taking such a risk, but this frog and its story are so extraordinary I cannot miss it. Ladies and gentlemen allow me to introduce Telmatobius culeus, Latin for aquatic scrotum and the key ingredient for Peruvian backstreet viagra. 

I first heard about this frog back in Uruguay. A well-connected conservationist I was staying with told me that a friend of his, Ramon "Kuki" Avellaneda, had seen frogs the size of VW's whilst diving for lost Inka gold with Jacques Cousteau at the bottom of Lake Titicaca. 

I was excited about the prospect of a giant crypto toad living at the bottom of a remote Andean lake. Pre-historic amphibians were monsters, several meters long that ate baby dinosaurs for breakfast. Perhaps Cousteau had discovered a relic beast - an amphibian Nessie at the bottom of this ancient lake. 

I contacted Kuki, who now basks amongst the beautiful near the swish sixties seaside resort of Buzios in Brazil. On account of being deaf as a post from his years underwater, we communicated via his son who relayed the somewhat disenchanting information that his father's aquatic scrotum were merely the size of dinner plates and not cars. I could barely hide my disappointment. But the story does not end there.

The super saggy Telmatobius delivers another of his saucy come hither looks for the camera 

Telmatobius Culeus it turns out may not be the behemoth ball bag of the deep but he is still an awesome beast. His laughable Latin name refers to his wrinkly appearance which has enabled him to pull the kind of trick that Houdini could only dream of. 

Lake Titicaca is an unforgiving home, at nearly 4000 metres above sea level, the sun is brutal, the air is thin and freezing cold. This is no place for an amphibian. But this frog survives by living permanently at the bottom of the lake, never surfacing and breathing only through his skin, which has evolved in copious folds that drape around his scrawny frame to maximise its surface area. When necessary, he does press ups to circulate more oxygenated water around his body. He may not be pretty, but it's an amazing evolutionary adaptation by anyone's standards.

An old woman I caught pushing frogs on a minor in Cuzco market

I spot my first Titicaca frog not in a lake, but in the markets of Cuzco in the Peruvian Andes. He's languishing in a bucket with other Telmatobius species waiting to become part of a soup that the locals believe is good for your brain, amongst other things. I'm thinking I've never heard anything so dumb but the locals have a long history of using this frog in traditional medicine so I'm probably not going to win this argument. Especially as I only know a few words in Spanish and shouting "bad frog" at the woman repeatedly will probably just get me arrested and forced to drink frog soup in a bid to cure my madness.

I struggle to see how anyone could feel sexy after drinking this 

I've heard that the Titcaca frogs, along with other Telmatobius species, are also the key ingredient of "frog juice" - an aphrodisiac sold in the food markets of the Peruvian capital. This traditional recipe sees the frogs placed in a blender along with a bunch of herbs and honey and drunk as a shake. How anything involving a Moulinex mixer can be described as traditional I don't know, but I do know I have to investigate. So during my change in flights at Lima I jump in a cab and head downtown in search of thisamphibian elixir. I made this short video about my frog juice drinking experience.

On the journey back to airport I explain to the cab driver that the frog in his favourite shake is now critically endangered, its numbers having declined by a whopping 80% in the last few generations. This ancient frog, a massive part of Andean culture, is on the brink of extinction thanks to people like him. I give him an extra big tip and tell him to go buy some Viagra. 

Conservationists on the Bolivian side of the lake are working hard to protect the frog, doing much needed outreach to educate local communities and working to uphold the law against it being sold in markets. But worryingly, recent dives have uncovered dozens of dead frogs - a sign that the dreaded Chytrid fungus may also have arrived at the frog's home. This frog needs all the help it can get.

You wouldn't like your balls put in a blender, so to help save the amazing aquatic scrotum and other endangered amphibians like them - please go here and donate some cash. 

Comments

[Damion]

Very interesting blog! I have always loved frogs since I was a kid and have kept many different species... red eyes, mantellas, they are wonderful amazing creatures and in need of conservation - to see them being put in a blender like that makes me sick. The licking of the poison dart frogs was fascinating and scary! hahaa... i love building vivariums and keeping dart frogs is something ive always wanted to do ! I would only buy captive bred ones of course. I'm really interested in the ant that they eat that makes them so toxic in the wild... what biochemical reaction is going on there???? It's so sad that no ones really pays attention to them - but they are such an important indicator of the state of our environment...

[Teresa Pina]

Dear Lucy,
I work in a reknowed aquarium in Europe, and I would like to ask your permission to use the Telmatobius culeus picture in an amphibian exhibit we are opening in two weeks. Credits will be given. Could you be so kind to contact me. Best regards

[Ken]

awesome n bizarre!

[Meghan]

My boyfriend posted this on my facebook the other day, and who do I see? Mookie!I just left Los Amigos two weeks ago. It's an amazing place and I hope to go back soon. Hope you have as great of an experience as I did. I will definitely continue to read your blog! :)

[Amphibian Avenger]

Thanks for the comments folks!

It's true. There may well be interesting chemicals in Telmatobius that are beneficial to human health. Biochemical analysis would be a great idea. The Andean people believe the frogs cure a very wide variety of ailments from a simple fever to epilepsy, asthma, anaemia and prostate problems. It seems unlikely that that this frog can cure such a wide range of illnesses and I very much doubt that they are able to have the same effect as Viagra. I suspect their appearance has led them to this mythical aphrodisiac status.

[Hanna]

Those toads remind me of Shar Pei versions of Xenopus! LOL! I hope you'll make it to the American Southwest and check out our native species of amphibians. You would adore Anaxyrus alvarius. They reach the size of small dinner plates and there are some people who do try to lick them.

[James]

The things people call traditional amaze me.
Traditional whaling with industrial ships,
Traditional turtle hunting with 50HP outboards, alloy boats and guns....

Traditional aphrodisiacs made with electric blenders served up in plastic cups

A tradition of rubbish I think..

[Warren Laurde]

Telling people they're horrible won't make you many friends, but good on you for trying the juice. Without a biochemical analysis you cannot make statements about the stimulatory or vasodilatory effects of ingestion. Otherwise an entertaining post.